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POWERFUL Women - Stories, Uncategorized

My House Is No Longer My Home

nadege caze

 

So ladies, my story begins when I first met this tall dark and handsome man   with a voice that can capture a woman’s soul. He had a dreamy bass-like voice like the singer/icon Barry White. He was very intelligent and had a gift –of-gab. He was a man of God who knew the Bible inside out and I thought that was impressive. For a minute I thought I hit the Lottery because how lucky of me to have found all these phenomenal qualities in one man. This amazing guy was funny, good provider and very sociable. Ladies, I forget to mention that the sex was amazing it was like the 4th of July in the bedroom.  I was so impressed by his conversation and lord knows his appearance took my breath away. I knew for sure I had found my forever soulmate. Moving right along, after a few years later into our relationship, I decided to move him into my lovely house in Long island with my daughter so we can build a happy home and possibly have more kids between us and live happily ever after. Wrong, that’s when the drama really started. Everything this man would tell me I would believe him. I trusted him with my heart and soul because he said; he loved me and never wanted to be with anyone else but me. Nobody could have told me anything about my relationship; I thought that we were on top of the world. He would tell me that he is working a double shift at work and he would be coming home late. I would always make sure when he works extra shifts at work he would have brown bag to take to work just in case he gets hungry. I made sure when we comes home from a hard day of work he would always come home to a clean house and a home cook meal gourmet style.

Nobody could have told me anything negative about this man. So now after a few years into our relationship my happy home has turned completely upside down. The mysterious phone calls during the day and night of constant flow of women calling my phone harassing me looking for him, I found pictures of him with his girlfriends’ away on vacation in the islands, women sending me emails pictures of the interior of my home and multiple love letters they wrote to him.

When I confronted him regarding all this mess he stated that he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He started sleeping out and not come home for days. My heart never hurt so much; I felt like a wounded animal in the wild seeking refuge. He literally took my kindness for weakness. I spent so many sleepless nights asking myself “what did I do wrong and how can I fix it”. I spent so many months being depress and feeling all alone and miserable But, I still made it to work with a big “Kool-Aid” smile on my face and kept my head up high but I was slowly dying from within. My work place was my escape from home. I really didn’t mind working extending hours because it was therapeutic. Going home was quite painful. Throughout the years matters has gotten worse; he had women coming to my house picking him up, I walked in and found a women making tea while he was sitting in the den watching television which was the ultimate disrespect and the list goes on and on. I continued to hold my head up high and continue to pray and talk to god in the privacy of my house. While God was working out a plan for me on his end I was working out a plan for myself to end this nightmare of tears and pain. My Mom was very supportive during this time for me. One day I took a long good look in the mirror and I said to myself: “You are a strong and confident woman you can rise above it all “Don’t do this to yourself” You will be just fine without him”. Ladies, The essential Truth is that I was in love with him and he was no longer interested or focused in our relationship and he was not trying his best to fix it. I stopped giving him his source of oxygen which was (the cookie☺). It took me sometime to admit to myself that it’s over. The signs were there but I simply brushed it under the rug and become oblivious to my situation. Finally, my plan of action was to rent my property and move elsewhere and end this selfish and unhealthy relationship for good because it was getting toxic and I didn’t want it to affect my kids to a certain extent. In the midst of my turmoil relationship with this man 2 beautiful girls blossomed out of this relationship. I moved on with pride, strength, perseverance and a peace of mind with my 3 lovely daughters as a Single Mom by choice. Still setting goals for myself and remaining positive for whatever comes my way. So ladies, this is my testimony. Remain Optimistic. Live happily Healthier after.

 

By Nadege Caze

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