Friends. How many of us have them?
Well according to Facebook, I have close to 2,000. But considering the reality of the “flake rate”, that number is a lot smaller.
I’m laughing, but you all know I’m serious. No really.
We all have our circle of the mains…the inner circle…the crew…the besties…the BFFs. As I got older, I cringed at titles because they really do come with a job responsibility. This involves real work, including a lot of “other duties as she deems necessary”.
If I enter into a “contract of friendship” it comes with some serious expectations: loyalty, commitment, realness, and consistency being at the top. Not to mention: dying with my secrets, refusing to post unFacebookable pics of me, and ensuring my sorority stuff doesn’t get sent to the goodwill when I die.
All jokes aside, I believe that the hallmark of sisterhood comes with a willingness to commit. The title is nice, but it really is about a decision to be devoted. Almost like a marriage.
My girlfriend jokes with me all the time that I’m like her second husband. Our friendship is a sort of marriage – minus the fancy wedding. But we party. Don’t get it twisted.
Our girlfriends essentially operate as partners in life. Girlfriends hold us accountable and put us together when we are falling apart. They are not required to attend every pity party; however they recognize that they need to accept a few invites for good measure.
Much like the divorce rate in America is increasing, I’m told that every seven years, women lose about half of their close friends. As people grow and mature, or become elevated into their purpose, sometimes friendships don’t survive the physical and emotional places you travel.
It is important to form new relationships throughout your development. Increase your network with women who can add to your purpose.
But let us be conscious of the 10 Girl Codes for Honoring Sisterhood:
Value your friend’s views and opinions respectfully. If you can’t handle her being straight and telling you the truth – you don’t regard her as a friend.
Encourage and inspire. If she is pursuing her dream, it’s your job to show up, support, and have her back.
Communicate regularly. Find the time to connect. If you live in the same city, are you dropping in to see her face? Are you sending her affirmations for prosperity in her life? Do you pray together? Can you speak about her happiness because you know what’s going on in her life?
Never make her question your support. Emotionally or spiritually. If she doesn’t know she can call you at 3am to cry in your ear, that’s a problem.
Be loyal. No one should feel safe – yes I said safe – to speak ill against her in your presence.
Build together. Whether it be social, service, or entrepreneurship – get some girl power.
Be a part of her village. Are you helping her raise her children, checking in on her parents…are you cool with her pets?
Celebrate her. That Facebook post on her birthday does not count. Is her happiness a win for you?
She should be able to trust you with her life. You may not be the beneficiary on her life policy, but can she trust you to help make decisions or give feedback that is important to her mental and physical health?
Do not put your man above your sister; usually the ultimate deal breaker. Pause…let me explain. There are many emotional obstacles that women experience, that require the sister circle. It is not fair to be irresponsible with our commitment to friendship because our love lives flourish or become complicated.
Life happens. And that’s a good thing if you are growing and walking within your purpose. But sisterhood does require that we be intentional with honoring our girlfriends.
Girlfriends are the only women we intentionally choose in life for ourselves. The family we choose. It is important that we honor the sisterhood.
Girlfriends matter. Peace, love and all that good stuff!