“And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” wrote author J.K. Rowling.
Same for me, my 18 year marriage ended one day when my then husband left for work and never came back home. He went home to someone else. I was blindsided. In a flash, I lost my husband, my business partner, and my best friend.
Tennis great Arthur Ashe once said: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” And that’s exactly what I did.
I transitioned personally and professionally. The result is I am happily re-married to a great guy and I have created my Transitions Life Coaching business that I adore.
During the early days of my transition, I made a pact with myself that I would not turn down any invitation. I was afraid that if I did, I would turn into a crazy lady with 17 cats that never leave the house. And I don’t even really like cats!
I received an invitation to a BNI chapter. I didn’t even know what BNI stood for. BN what?? (BNI is a business networking group). I accepted the invitation and during my visit, I met two ladies who were smart, interesting, and accomplished. They were in encore careers and both reached out to me. I was so impressed with them that I said to myself “I want more of that in my life.” I began attending events hoping that I could meet more women like them.
I don’t have children. Before my transition, during my 30s and 40s, I didn’t have anything in common with most women my age. So, I pretty much stayed to myself and did my own thing.
At age 50, I realized that I had entered a whole new ballgame. Women my age with children now had grown children. And many of them were transitioning too. Empty nesters, encore businesses, second marriages… It changed everything for me.
I wasn’t happy with the events I found during my search so I decided to create my own monthly luncheon that I call Ladies Who Lunch. Ladies Who Lunch was an instant success and became a way for me to meet like-minded women as well as bring attention to my Transitions coaching business. Ladies Who met for lunch quickly expanded into ladies, who cruise, ladies who walk (to support the Harry Chapin Food Bank’s Annual Hunger Walk), ladies, who shop (to support ladies in retail.) I am very proud that I’ve created a vehicle to interact with like-minded women and showcase their businesses, while growing mine.
Speaking of my business, my company is Transitions and I am a Certified Life Coach. One of the things you learn in my Transitions Coaching program is how to get happy and how to stay happy.
Feeling good takes you to calm. Calm is key. Nothing good happens when you’re on the ledge. When you are calm, you have clarity about what you want. When you have clarity about what you want, you can see it. When you can see it, that’s where the magic happens! You have faith of a certainty that what you want is what you will receive. Ask and it shall be answered.
One of the ways you do this is by asking yourself throughout the day: “What do I want?” Not in a stressed, anxious way, but in a calm way. “What do I want?”
Here’s a real life example that happened to me:It was a Monday and I was working at home. I was staring at my blank computer screen and thinking about my Transitions business. I asked myself: “What do I want?” My answer was I want my current and past Transitions clients to refer me constantly. I know they love it. I realize that my program can be tricky to explain. So, how do I make it easy for my client to refer me?? I realized that I needed a tool. I sat there for a while but nothing came to mind. I said to myself “No worries. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out. I left for an appointment. I got in my car and put a CD into the player. Ding ding ding!! That’s it! I’ll make a marketing CD that my current and past Transitions clients can distribute. The CD will do the explaining for them. It’s perfect! How do I make a CD? I thought: “I have no idea but I’m smart and I’ll figure it out. “The next day was Tuesday and I had my BNI meeting to attend. Guess who visits our chapter? The owner of an audio visual marketing company visited our chapter. Upon meeting them I thought Ding ding ding!! Here’s my answer! We chatted and three weeks later I had my Transitions CD.
Ask and it shall be answered.
It all fell into place because it began with me feeling good. Feeling good took me to calm. Through calm, I got clarity about what I wanted. Once I knew what I wanted, I had the confidence that I would receive it. And I did. The CD is has been very well received and it is working beautifully, as I knew it would. I have created my ideal life and through my Transitions program, I help others do the same.
By Kyle Henderson