Sometimes, in the fog of excitement, our vision is impaired, and this hinders our ability to see tell-tale signs and red flags. Despite what you’ve been taught in school, that small voice in the back of your mind isn’t necessarily your conscience — it may be the last fully functioning piece of your brain, desperately trying to tell you that the person you’re seeing is not even close to being “the one.”
Below, are 7 signs that may indicate they’re not for you.
1. You don’t trust him/her. A small dose of jealousy can be healthy, but if you’re hacking into their email account, and going berserk when they goes out without you, something’s wrong. If there’s something about them that truly warrants your distrust, then perhaps they’re not the one for you.
2. One of you is struggling with an addiction.They’re sweet. They’re exciting. They love you very much. But they love their alcohol habit or his weekly gambling fix or shopaholic ways more. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can change them or that your relationship will be strong enough to withstand the heartache that addiction will inevitably bring. An addict may be able to change, but they’ll do so on their own terms – that is, if they come to realize that they need to stop foolish habits and/or be more mature.
3. You have a list of things that they need to stop doing/saying/wearing if they want your relationship to work. If you’re fixating on their flaws, they’re either not the one you want or you’re not ready for a serious relationship. Cutting them loose allows you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet the one whose flaws you can embrace — or at least accept.
4. Your honey wants kids and you don’t (or vice versa). Often, a person is so happy to find “the one” that he or she assumes love, marriage and having children all go together. But for the other person, being a twosome and being in love is enough. It’s a good idea to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with your potential mate to understand his or her perspective.
5. They avoid conflict at any cost.Fighting is healthy. And, when done right (in the non-accusatory, rational sort of way), it can be a great way to air grievances, fix problems in your relationship, and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is not the same as having no problems at all… even if it looks that way.
6. Your lifestyles clash.If you’re a corporate executive pulling in six figures a year, you’ve probably figured out by now whether you can tolerate a guy or gal who earns less in terms of salary. No harm, no foul: ending things now is better than leading someone along (or unexpectedly sticking your date with the tab at that expensive restaurant).
7. On paper, they seem great, but you just have this strange feeling…Don’t ignore your gut. You may get along on a superficial level, but if your instincts are telling you he’s/she’s not the one for you, listen. That little voice inside your head does not lie.